Making & Creating AllowancesAs a kid, did you get an allowance and if so, how much and what for? When you worked hard and got a good grade in a class did you receive compensation for doing so? When and if you headed out to college, who paid for your education then? Did you get a student loan? Parents fit the bill? Or did you get a scholarship? Who purchased your first automobile or were you even barely past 16 yrs old before you were given one just because…? Did you expect this or were you grateful?
Now you are an adult and you have responsibilities. You may have a good job, a spouse and children of your own. Or you may be single with a different briefcase of responsibilities that fit your lifestyle. Either way--You have responsibilities and obligations. And in the real world unless you do what you are doing well, the compensation whether financially or emotionally will reflect your efforts. There are NO handouts. There’s a difference between ‘permission and allowances’. Let’s look at our responsibility when it comes to being respected and respectful in life’s understanding of these.
A different set of ‘allow’ances! You are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to say “I’m sorry”. And you are allowed to forgive when wrong has been focused in your direction. These allowances are far different from the ones you received growing up. No one is going to compensate you just because you are you.
Often in the early days…there was no allowance for doing what was expected of you. It was anticipated. You did your homework so that you could earn a good grade and hear “Proud of you!” from your family. You helped around the home because you wanted to be a help to another person. You discussed your future with those whom you respected and often rather than not, secured a student loan for a higher education institute that provided what you were seeking at the best fees. Your selection was not based upon the status of the school itself and the inflated monies that went with their name. Yes, you can flunk out of the prestigious school just as easy as you can anywhere.
Then- You got a job so that you could save for your future; buy your first car and many of the other necessities of life. You paid your way. No free tickets. No one handed you anything except a diploma,well done, and a big pat on the back. This motivation and inspiration helped build your foundation of character. You learned by whatever example that was set before you – either to be responsible or expect others to carry you through life.
Now- The family unit has begun to deteriorate from the expectations placed upon shoulders too insecure to carry this responsibility. The family has bent the time previously invested in each other in various directions; kids raising themselves so that both parents can work to provide for the family what they feel will exhibit to society their success as parents and professionals. This 'trend in the bend' of making or being the exception to the golden rule, has already become dangerous. With every generation, every excuse, and every roll of the dice of decisions made, we gamble with the future of tomorrow’s value system. Making allowances for why and how long we can continue this is costly in many ways.
Are you paying your dues? Are you are missing the point when the word ‘dues’ is in place? It is not the actual due allowance itself that is the issue here but, the individual’s expectation of “being owed something just because.” Take a look at your self-worth and weigh the values you have for living a quality life and who you are as a person. How do they compare? Do what you need to when it is due.
Unexpected Change: No one ‘plans' for change…it just happens. Even now, you may see your success as hindered. Everyone, will at one time or another, approach this dreaded curve in the road. I once heard a comment: “We are all only one paycheck away from broke.” If you believe the lie that you are better than everyone else, you have taken a step of self deception and disillusion. There is always a bottom rung to the ladder you climbed to the top. Be sure you are able to accept change with each step taken in an opportunity. Make no allowances to cast blame for your errors or unworthy praises for your efforts. Look around you. What wall is your ladder leaning upon?
What are you worth? In business - employment and personal relationships-
Who are you, really?Business owner's with inflated egos often have an exaggerated view of their success. Like a peacock spreads it's feathers, they accept the awards for the efforts and prositive results put forth by their staff. A fair wage for a fair day’s labor is often lost in the politics of performance verses profit. The unrealistic expectations placed upon time goes unnoticed until the review is met with dissatisfaction. Never let anyone shine a dull light on you, your self-esteem and value. Always know your worth. Accept nothing less than your best. And know there are those who will surely see that and express their appreciation for your talents. Many companies have yet to see that the true value of an employee is seen in expressed gratitude and gratuity. You can't pay a debt with a 'thank you', now can you....lol
Same holds true in relationships. If someone has mistreated you and walked away, this is good. They have done you a favor. Never compromise your integrity for another. Congratulations to those who have survived these experiences and have washed the 'walk on you' footprints off their backs and moved on. They always say…what goes around comes around. And it is true: He who dies with the most toys- still dies. It is up to you what allowances you make or accept in how you are treated.
You are wealthy not because someone gives you wealth but because you earn it from the inside out.
You earn the right to be respected by others, by society, by your loved ones. You earn the right to make allowances in saying yes or no and knowing when to remain silent.
You have value not because someone pays you but rather because you have self worth.
You know you- your skills, your personality, your dreams, and your level of expectations of you. No one has the right to demand more of you or push you past that boundary.
You embrace the wisdom and strength to say ‘Good bye’ to a broken friendship, a broken love, or a broken opportunity. This gives you a new and fresh outlook on what is on the horizon for you. Hold dear those friends who are the exception to the rule, a found love which respects the rules, and a career that does not rule your personal life and relationships. Let go of who or what holds you beneath the surface of yourself.
Lifelong Interviews: From parents and loved ones; for a college entrance exam; then we do a resume’ for a job interview. And sometimes we even polish our personality for finding a significant other or a spouse. Some people miss the ‘personal' experience and even perform an interview for their ‘spiritual’ life with God. Yes, that is a lot of performing. It can be exhausting. Maybe it is time to resume the simplicity from those lessons of ‘becoming’ more with less.
Same but different - Our life is on that resume’ or a piece of paper, a list of who we are or what we've done successfully. Rarely do we include a list of our short comings. This is our test to move forward. In relationships we work hard to impress to get the date, to hear the yes to the proposal. This is for some, the ultimate interview for a life together.
Resume’ and resume. Spelled the same but different. One is about accomplishments while the other is about living. Let’s try to resume living and let the resume’ of our life reflect our accomplishments in family, friends, and our self worth. Taking ‘allowances’ with any of these areas will leave you emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and sometimes even physically broken.
So, here’s to your values- in who you are, who you are becoming…and to all you have been. Allow yourself to always be available to just BE. You are, after all, a human being…not a human doing!
Make and take some allowances...for and in life -
Now is the time…Yubw8n?
